I look around at the decorated houses and the aisles of seasonal goods. Horrible creatures dripping rubbery blood. Skeletons with evil smiles. Although I’d rather look away, these things aren’t so scary anymore. Here’s what gives me that creepy feeling today:
• Looking in the magnifying mirror—Oh, the chin hairs, the veins around my nose, the vanishing eyebrows!
• Looking in any mirror with my glasses on—Has my hair always been that frizzy?
• Trying to zip up last summer's Bermuda shorts—Did my hips expand like that in a mere 12 months?
• Glancing at the calendar and wondering what happened to last week (or looking at my watch and wondering what happened to the last three hours)—Does time really advance faster when you’re in your sixties?
• Starting to tell an old story to a new friend and suddenly realizing I'm not quite sure how it goes anymore—it’s not Alzheimers, it’s not Alzheimers, it’s not Alzheimers….
• Singing an old favorite song and forgetting the words I used to know so well—See above.
• Reading the daily obituaries and finding out about the deaths of contemporaries—I know I should stop reading them, but I can't.
• Getting indigestion and wondering if it could possibly be my heart—The scariest of all.
It’s not just these self-absorbing items that frighten me. I also fear the big things, like nuclear war, the Taliban, a meteor heading toward Earth, and the Tea Partiers. But I feel better about cowering from—and kvetching about—everyday horrors.