Friday, December 30, 2011

Mindless eating and pants that don't fit

I’ve finally managed to analyze my eating habits. Or, rather, my reasons for requiring larger sizes in most of my clothing.

I eat when I’m hungry. I eat when I’m bored. I eat when I’m challenged. The only times I don’t eat are when I’m sleeping, already really full from a meal or snack, or doing something that I feel confident I can complete successfully.

Today, at work, I sat at my desk anguishing over the editing of a new online course that is not going well. To pull myself away from the aggravation, I got up to go to the bathroom. It’s a far enough walk that I get to stretch my legs and put some distance between my brain and the computer monitor.

On the way back from the bathroom, I wondered if there were any sweet snacks around. Then I got serious with myself, and asked (in my head), “Are you really hungry after that big lunch?” The answer was no, and I understood that I was reacting to the prospect of going back to that miserable task.

Besides, when I snack at my desk, it's a waste of calories. I keep my eyes on the keys and the monitor and intermittently reach for a bite of granola bar or a few peanuts. Suddenly, I reach, and there's nothing to grab. I've just eaten the whole thing without realizing it. Worse, without savoring it. At that point, I may not be really hungry, but I feel deprived of the pleasure of the snack.

Now that it's almost the last day of the year, I vow to be more mindful of why I'm craving food next year and, more important, I must come up with better ways to satisfy what I'm really craving.

I want to be able to wear my smaller size pants, now relegated to the back of the closet, by March. I have one more day this year to figure out how I'm going to make this change and get it to stick. Until then, I'm going for a Nature Valley Almond Crunch bar. No, I'm still not really hungry. I just like Almond Crunch bars.

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